Do you have an addiction? If you do, are you even aware? Take this quiz to find out.
Q: Have you used drugs other than those required for medical reasons?
Yes No
Q: Have you abused prescription drugs?
Yes No
Q: Do you abuse more than one drug at a time?
Yes No
Q: Do you use drugs more than once a week?
Yes No
Q: Have you tried stop using drugs and were not able to do so?
Yes No
Q: Have you had blackouts or flashbacks as a result of drug use?
Yes No
Q: Do you ever feel bad or guilty about your drug use?
Yes No
Q: Does your spouse -or parents - ever complain about your involvement with drugs?
Yes No
Q: Has drug abuse created problems between you and your spouse or your parents?
Yes No
Q: Have you lost friends because of your use of drugs?
Yes No
Q: Have you neglected your family because of your use of drugs?
Yes No
Q: Have you been in trouble at work because of your use of drugs?
Yes No
Q: Have you lost a job because of drug abuse?
Yes No
Q: Have you gotten into fights when under the influence of drugs?
Yes No
Q: Have you engaged in illegal activities in order to obtain drugs?
Yes No
Q: Have you been arrested for possession of illegal drugs?
Yes No
Q: Have you ever experienced withdrawal symptoms (felt sick) when you stopped taking drugs?
Yes No
Q: Have you had medical problems as a result of your drug use - memory loss, hepatitis, convulsions, bleeding, etc.?
Yes No
Q: Have you gone to anyone for help for a drug problem?
Yes No
Q: Have you been involved in a treatment program especially related to drug use?
Yes No
According to the Vanderbilt University Addiction Center, the level of advisability of seeking drug treatment at this time is based on the number of Yes answers you give. 1-5 Yes, low level. 6-10 Yes, moderate level. 10-15 Yes, substantial level. 16-20 Yes severe level.
Thursday, December 4, 2008
I need to share this info with anyone out there that might be actively using, recovering from or knows someone that is an addict. There are plans for cravings and this particular plan is a 7-minute plan, so obviously it doesn't take much time, and may stop you from making a huge mistake by using again. This was info given to my daughter at a drug rehab facility and she has used it with success. I don't have the original source of this article, it was a handout at the rehab.
7-Minute Plan for Cravings
Long after a drug addict becomes abstinent, the brain continues to hunger for the chemical that once fueled its pleasure centers. Fortunately, for the addict, cravings only last 5-7 minutes. It is critical for the recovering person to take steps during this window of time to combat the cravings.
Develop an action plan that will get you through your craving; include coping strategies that will occupy at least 7 minutes until the craving subsides. On a 3X5 note card, write out your plan and carry it with you at all times. When a craving hits, the potential for your disease to become active is very strong and it helps to have something tangible to refer to for guidance.
Below are some suggestions you may want to consider for your individualized plan. Remember it is always best to stay out of your head when experiencing a craving, however, you must learn how to use material tactics until you can get to the phone, a peer, or a meeting.
Review the negative consequences and pain of your addiction. Recall what happened the last time you used.
Positive Self-Talk - Choose specific affirmations..."I respect and love myself today"..."I deserve freedom from active addiction"..."I am a child of God"...etc. Write them out on the opposite side of your card.
Visualization - Learn to associate your use with negative outcomes. Picture your family at your funeral, visualize yourself behind bars..., then picture yourself sober, enjoying life in a place that is peaceful and serene.
Wear a rubber band around your wrist and snap it when you get a craving. Focus on the feeling against your skin. (Make sure the band isn't too tight, this isn't meant to be self torture)
Carry a 24 hour key tag or medallion and reach for it when a craving hits.
Deep breathing with mental imagery - Take long deep breaths through your nose until your lungs are full. Hold for 3-5 seconds and exhale slowly through your mouth.
Counting - Count to 10, 20, 100...whatever it takes.
Sing or hum a cheerful song. (not Eric Clapton's "Cocaine")
Reach for some literature, (Big Book, basic text, daily meditations, wallet cards, or write your own meditation right on the card).
Physical Strategies (when able):
Take a brisk walk, jog or sprint.
Drop and do push ups.
Shoot some hoops.
Life weights.
Support Group strategies:
Get to the nearest person and tell on your disease...expose the craving.
Pick up the phone and call your sponsor...call someone from your home group...call someone in your family who supports your recovery...call a therapist...call the operator and ask for the time, etc.
Get to a meeting and share.
All of these strategies are known to help. If there are other diversions you have used in the past, use them. The most important thing is, you won't stop the craving, but your CAN and WILL stop the risk of using again.
When my kids, (yes, I say kids plural, 3 to be exact) became drug addicts, the first thing I said to myself was "Did I do something wrong?" Most of the people in the small town I live in would probably say yes, as they live their perfect PTA and soccer Mom lives with blinders on to the real world. But since this has happened in my life I have become much more educated about the world of drugs, drug addiction and recovery. It isn't my fault, it isn't my husband's fault, it isn't even my kids' fault. If I were to point my finger at anyone that should have known better and could have helped prevent this, I would point my finger at doctor's and dentists in the area. When you can call the dentist for weeks after having a tooth pulled and still get a prescription to vicodin or lorcet, there's something wrong, because no one has that much pain for that long even after major surgery. Still they handed it out. And when a 17 year old kid could walk into a local ER and complain of tooth pain or back pain or a pulled muscle and get a prescription for percocet without a parent actually being present, something is definitely wrong. You ask why the hospital in question gave it out? They called home for permission but the person they were calling wasn't a parent at home, it was another kid in the parking lot on a cell phone pretending to be a parent. Duh! Who would approve that as acceptable policy!? The policy should have been 'No treatment for non-emergency medical problems without a parent or guardian present." Period. No exceptions. But still it goes on, although I don't think it's as easy.
So, I ask myself why this happened. The main reason is mentioned above, which certainly isn't entirely the blame, but didn't help matters either. There are actually tons of causes I suppose. Peer pressure, simple teenage curiosity, stress, lack of work or other productive activity, inability to make friends, bad grades, bad relationships with friends or boyfriends and so many more things that don't bother us as adults but can be very devastating to teenagers. Teens can be influenced very easily, as many of us with kids know, and it's just natural behavior for many teens to rebel. But there is one thing that sticks out in my mind. I feel my kids started using drugs because of low self esteem. Don't ask my why, they are all beautiful girls but 2 of them were a little heavy and never had steady boyfriends like the 3rd daughter. Unfortunately the 3rd daughter became involved with a guy that was a dealer in the area and is now spending a couple years in prison. The 2 younger daughters were always together, joined at the hip most of their growing up years and I think what one did, the other one did. My middle daughter had diabetes on top of being a little heavy, so that also made her different. So to compensate for all these feelings and what they felt were going through, they experimented with drugs because it helped them forget all that they were feeling for a short time and it escalated into a huge problem. It made them feel 10 foot tall and bullet-proof. It made them popular, at least to the other druggies, because they had the car and money and drugs. Who wouldn't want to hang out with them and why not do these things, because it helped them feel great physically, mentally and emotionally.
Most homes are dysfunctional to some extent. You're fooling yourself if you disagree. NO one lives a perfect life and NO one is a perfect parent. My husband and I are both professional people. I am a Registered Nurse, my husband is a Water Treatment Plant Operator. We both work full time jobs, pay our bills on time, live in a house that we own and have goals for our lives and our kids lives. We have 5 kids together, currently the kids are 15 through 24, all girls except the youngest. We have been together for 12 years, married for 4 years and have given our kids everything they needed and more. We actually built on to the house so each kid would have their own room. We all get along, and the kids do too, although they have had their moments. What family of 7 hasn't? We have supported the kids through every stage they went through and encouraged them when they needed it and we are ALWAYS here, at least when they were all in their teens and we don't party or do drugs. We basically put our lives on hold about the time the oldest turned 13 or so and were always home when they needed us. We've had fights about 'your kid, my kid' issues, but never to the degree that we didn't work it out. For the last year, we haven't fought about the kids at all.
Many think that if you have a dysfunctional home, it's because of a set of dysfunctional parents, and usually that's where the blame lies. If parents are dysfunctional, those messages can be projected onto the kids. Kids in this type of environment may interpret those messages to mean...
I'm not important.
I'm in the way.
I'm a problem for myself and others.
I'm unattractive.
I'm too loud, too quiet or other.
I'm not smart; I'm stupid.
I can't do anything right.
I can't be trusted.
I'm selfish and demanding.
I'll never amount to anything.
I'm not loved.
I'm not wanted or needed.
Several components play an important part in determining our levels of self esteem. How we feel about ourselves in these areas will influence the value we give ourselves. These components include:
Self-acceptance: the feelings we have about ourselves.
Self-worth: the value we place upon ourselves.
Self-feeling: how in touch we are with our feelings.
Self-focus: our ability to look at ourselves.
Self-growth: our commitment to our growth and maturity.
Self-nurturing: our level of caring for ourselves.
Self-guidance: our ability to set a course for our lives.
Self-determination: our commitment to ourselves.
Self-healing: our ability to care for our minds and bodies.
Self-love: our ability to love who we are.
Here's a little exercise used in a drug rehab I visited. After reading the statements that follow each component of self-esteem, decide how comfortable you are with the ideas expressed. You can even add your own components of self-esteem to the list.
Self-acceptance
I like spending time alone. I feel happy with the things I do. I love and appreciate myself for who I am. I like my appearance.
Self-worth
I believe taking care of myself is important. I have a lot to give myself and to others. I have many good qualities. I know it's okay to have the things I want. I am an important person.
Self-feeling
I listen to my feelings and respect them. I am not afraid of my feelings. I love to love and to be loved. I know it's okay to have fun and enjoy myself.
Self-focus
I am the master of my own life I do what's right for myself. I stand up for myself and what I feel. I am not afraid to be myself. I know that it's okay to take care of my needs.
Self-growth
I am getting better every day. I take risks and open up to others. I accept and make changes in my life. I feel excited about my growth. I like setting goals for myself. I find each day challenging and exciting.
Self-nurturing
I ask for help from others when I need it. I take good care of myself. I treat myself the way I'd like others to treat me. I am patient with myself. I give love to myself. I make choices that are right for me.
Self-guidance
I believe I can listen for the guidance offered by a Power greater than myself. I know I have strength within me. I have wisdom and patience to achieve my desires. I make decisions for myself.
Self-determination
Who I can become is important to me. I am proud of my accomplishments. I am always ready to set new goals. I can do whatever I set out to do. My life is filled with meaning.
Self-healing
I have a positive attitude. I treat my body with respect. I have the power to make myself feel good. I like how I feel inside.
Self-love
I am not perfect, and this is comfortable. I attract loving relationships in my life. I feel happy with my life. I love myself.
No matter why the drug user starts using or keeps using, what it does to the them is cause a slow death. What it does to the families and friends is a slow and never ending mourning. It's never gone, it always haunts you, you are actually addicted to the addicted. It overwhelms you, takes your every moment, awake and asleep. You wake in the morning and make sure they're still alive and if they don't live with you, you call to make sure they're OK and thank God you didn't get a call in the night. If you pass a policemen on the way down your street, you're convinced they're going to your house. It's really no different for the addict, because that same behavior is projected on finding and doing drugs. If you're an addict, or a family of an addict, there is help out there. Please find it...ask someone, BEG someone to help you. When you're actively using drugs, you aren't going to ask for help because in that state of mind all you think about is getting more drugs. You'll have to hit rock bottom first. Unfortunately, for many that's death. Don't let it get to that.
The following video hits home. My daughter was in jail and told me to watch this video but especially listen to the words of this song. I did and cried for myself, for her and for all the addicts and families of addicts out in this big old world. It's a very fitting song.
"Hate Me"
(If you're sleeping are you dreaming If your dreaming are you dreaming of me? I can't believe you actually picked me.)
(”Hi Justin, this is your mother, and it's 2:33 on Monday afternoon. I was just calling to see how you ware doing. You sounded really uptight last night. It made me a little nervous, and a l... and... well... it made me nervous, it sounded like you were nervous, too. I just wanted to make sure you were really OK, And wanted to see if you were checking in on your medication. You know I love you, and... Take care honey I know you're under a lot of pressure. See ya. Bye bye”)
I have to block out thoughts of you so I don’t lose my head They crawl in like a cockroach leaving babies in my bed Dropping little reels of tape to remind me that I’m alone Playing movies in my head that make a porno feel like home There's a burning in my pride, a nervous bleeding in my brain An ounce of peace is all I want for you. Will you never call again? And will you never say that you love me just to put it in my face? And will you never try to reach me? It is I that wanted space
Hate me today Hate me tomorrow Hate me for all the things I didn't do for you
Hate me in ways Yeah ways hard to swallow Hate me so you can finally see what’s good for you
I’m sober now for 3 whole months it’s one accomplishment that you helped me with The one thing that always tore us apart is the one thing I won’t touch again In a sick way I want to thank you for holding my head up late at night While I was busy waging wars on myself, you were trying to stop the fight You never doubted my warped opinions on things like suicidal hate You made me compliment myself when it was way too hard to take So I’ll drive so fucking far away that I never cross your mind And do whatever it takes in your heart to leave me behind
Hate me today Hate me tomorrow Hate me for all the things I didn’t do for you
Hate me in ways Yeah ways hard to swallow Hate me so you can finally see what’s good for you
And with a sad heart I say bye to you and wave Kicking shadows on the street for every mistake that I had made And like a baby boy I never was a man Until I saw your blue eyes cry and I held your face in my hand And then I fell down yelling “Make it go away!” Just make a smile come back and shine just like it used to be And then she whispered “How can you do this to me?”
Hate me today Hate me tomorrow Hate me for all the things I didn’t do for you
Hate me in ways Yeah ways hard to swallow Hate me so you can finally see what’s good for you For you For you For you
[Children voices:] If you're sleeping, are you dreaming, if you're dreaming are you dreaming of me. I can't believe you actually picked me
When my step son was in kindergarten, he wouldn't go to school. For the first week or so of the school year, he fought tooth and nail to stay home. He wasn't nice about it either. He bawled and kicked and screamed and made school mornings a living hell. His sisters were all in school, 4 to be exact, but they couldn't even talk him in to it. He plain and simply wouldn't go. His Mother went to the school about it, my husband went to the school about it, and they told him that if this continues maybe they needed to consider putting him on Ritalin, a drug commonly used to treat the symptoms of ADHD, Attention Defecit Hyperactivity Disorder. What?? The kid doesn't want to go to school because he's 5 years old and just spent the whole summer with his Grandad on the farm and now has to be pulled from that to go somewhere all day with people he doesn't know and kids he's never played with and be expected to sit still. Of course, my husband was irate with the school and adamantly refused any medication or counseling. Fortunately, after a little ass chewin' from my husband, it changed and my step son stopped doing that and within a few days started going to school with out a hitch. Kids are just fickle. They aren't always hyper or require medication. Sometimes they just need an old fashioned growling.
Impulsiveness: a person who acts quickly without thinking things through.
Hyperactivity: a person who is unable to sit still.
Inattention: a person who daydreams or seems to be in another world.
Now, tell me. Can you honestly look at those symptoms and tell me that they don't describe normal childhood behavior!!?? How many 5 or 6 year olds DON'T act impulsively? You know the old saying...Kids'll do it every time. They say wrong things at the wrong time, tell on you for something without realizing they were just a tattle tale and blurt things out without thinking.
As far as the hyperactivity, have you ever been in a room full of 4 year olds at preschool with 200 toys they want to play with, a book shelf full of every book known to man and a playground full of really cool slides and playhouses and teeter totters?
As far as daydreaming, if we've gotten to the point when a kid can't daydream (or an adult for that matter), when a child is told it's wrong to daydream, then we have gotten to a very sad place.
This is how ADHD is diagnosed, also taken from Wikipedia...
DSM-IV criteria I. Either A or B: A. Six or more of the following symptoms of inattention have been present for at least 6 months to a point that is disruptive and inappropriate for developmental level:
Often does not give close attention to details or makes careless mistakes in schoolwork, work, or other activities. Often has trouble keeping attention on tasks or play activities. Often does not seem to listen when spoken to directly. Often does not follow instructions and fails to finish schoolwork, chores, or duties in the workplace (not due to oppositional behavior or failure to understand instructions). Often has trouble organizing activities. Often avoids, dislikes, or doesn't want to do things that take a lot of mental effort for a long period of time (such as schoolwork or homework). Often loses things needed for tasks and activities (e.g. toys, school assignments, pencils, books, or tools). Is often easily distracted. Often forgetful in daily activities.
B. Six or more of the following symptoms of hyperactivity-impulsivity have been present for at least 6 months to an extent that is disruptive and inappropriate for developmental level:
Hyperactivity: Often fidgets with hands or feet or squirms in seat. Often gets up from seat when remaining in seat is expected. Often runs about or climbs when and where it is not appropriate (adolescents or adults may feel very restless). Often has trouble playing or enjoying leisure activities quietly. Is often "on the go" or often acts as if "driven by a motor". Often talks excessively.
Impulsiveness: Often blurts out answers before questions have been finished. Often has trouble waiting one's turn. Often interrupts or intrudes on others (e.g., butts into conversations or games).
II. Some symptoms that cause impairment were present before age 7 years.
Am I the only person that sees a problem with this? I think this is an abomination. I blame society and poor parenting for "ADHD", if you want to label it. I watch kids and parents in stores and other places out in the world. Kids walk all over their parents because they have it pounded into their heads that 'no one is allowed to spank you' and 'if someone ever hits you, tell another adult about it' and 'if your parent hits you, call the cops'. Kids are demanding, 'Give me this, I want that', screaming if they don't get it, hanging on the front of the cart and pitching fits, and Mom gives in usually just to keep peace. Well, my kids are 24 and 21 and when they were small and they started acting up at all in a store or restaurant, we left. Right out to the car. They were told about their behavior, got a chance to see that I was really pissed, (without everyone in the store hearing it and looking at you like you were a Charles Manson follower) and given another chance to go back in the store. There were no scenes, there was no screaming from me or my kids and it didn't take long for them to learn that if they acted up, they would get an ear full, and yes, a smack on the ass. Oh my God! Yes, my kids got their asses fanned on a few occasions. Guess what? They tell me now they don't even remember me doing that. It apparently made an impression then, but doesn't matter now, and they never ended up in therapy for it. People can't smack their kids now because someone will turn them into CYS. That's pure bullshit.
I also blame society for labeling kids the way they do. Everyone has a diagnosis nowadays. Everyone has ADHD, Bi-Polar, has Depression, Anxiety or Autism. Why? How? What caused us to label people all of a sudden? The counselors? The schools? The government? Doctors? I think it's just easier to give everyone a title...a diagnosis...a label so they can pass the buck instead of just simply dealing with the issues and living with it. How many people had ADHD in the 40's or 50's or 60's. How many kids were autistic? Ya know, when a child is left alone for hours a day while parents work or the babysitter watches TV or the older siblings play with Playstations and Nintendo, maybe the younger kid is so used to NOT talking that it's just easier. Maybe it isn't always autism.
So when kids act up in school, they are sent to a counselor, put on medication and there you have it. A zombie. I've seen kids on this medication and I've also known kids in their teens and early 20's that were started on Ritalin as a young child and guess what??? They're using drugs now. I'm not saying that anyone put on this medication will turn into a drug user, but many do. For one thing, some kids sell their Ritalin or other drugs to other kids. It starts to be a way to make money. They become drug dealers. This is not fiction. This is not a story on TV. This is REAL. WAKE UP PEOPLE. We live in a time when we watch ads on TV for medications and can go to our doctors and ask for this medication because we had those same symptoms! Have you ever seen the commercial about depression? It makes you depressed. You know the one...'Who does depression hurt?' How does depression hurt?' God! If you aren't depressed before, you'll be depressed after you see it. Isn't everyone depressed at times? Get over it.
Do you want that white line of mindlessness That syringe full of ugly death, That wild and fucked up weekend Otherwise known as meth. Or maybe that crazy weed, That makes you slow and numb Brown and dark and dead The one that makes the party fun. Or maybe the pill that you crush up And snort into your nose. The one that’s abused in so many ways Instead of using it like they suppose. The chemicals that got you high Have put you down to the dirt They’ve eaten you up like a maggot Look at all of those that you’ve hurt. Look at yourself in the mirror And see where you are today Look at those dark circles and tell me you look OK. But most of all look behind you At all the friends standing there, The fun is over and they’re all gone, Obviously they don’t care. Now look back at yourself in the mirror Just one more time, can’t you see? The one that’s standing behind you Will always forever be me.
It isn't bad enough that teens are like demons to raise. Demons that will suck the blood out of your body and eat you raw. It isn't enough that there were all the normal (?? what is that??) issues that go with raising 5 kids,4 of them being teenage girls from the ages of 13 to 17. You now, the usual problems like zits that crop up just before the big date, hair that doesn't go just right, hoodies and shoes that go missing because someone wore them to a friend's house, boyfriend trouble, homework that doesn't get done until I do it the night before it's due, skipping school, wrecking cars, beer parties, prom dresses out the ying yang, mood swings, PMS and keeping Kotex in business for the past 10 years. No, that just wasn't enough. I had to wake up one morning and realize I had a drug addict in the house. You do everything right. Or you think you do, but there it is anyway, slapping you in the face for the rest of your life, because if you didn't know, once and addict always an addict. Well, the addiction led to behavior very unbecoming to an upstanding young woman, in a very small town where EVERYONE knows what's going on and if they don't, they make up there own version. Needless to say, the child that used to entertain herself for hours with Barbies in the playroom and never caused a lick of trouble ended up in jail. I never wanted any part of this, I never wanted to visit a jail, but I did...3 days a week every week for over a year. I never thought I could stand up in front of a judge and a room full of lawyers and other defendants and speak on behalf of my kid. I never wanted to spout off to a Probation Officer on a power trip and tell him that being on probation doesn't cure addiction. I never wanted to cry as much as I did those many, many months. I didn't want to know drug lingo and distrust my kids or their friends or continually ask myself what I did wrong. It's been an interesting lesson, an undesirable place to be when you should be buying more prom dresses, making graduation plans and going through college brochures. Instead I have a handbook from the local County Jail. But here's the deal. My daughter didn't use heroin, crack, cocaine or even weed, at least not at first. Her addiction started with prescription pain pills. So take my advice, LOCK UP ALL PRESCRIPTION MEDS. The drug dealer on the corner isn't the only threat. The problem is in your medicine cabinet, or your purse, or your night stand. Another bit of advice...Don't trust your kids. Question their every move, where they are, who they're with, when they'll be home, how much money they spend, who's calling on the house phone or cell, why they are losing weight or look so pale. Don't put up a wall, don't try to be cool with your kids, because they'll screw you if they have a chance, and so will their friends. And don't let up, they'll thank you for it later.
When my daughter was first in jail a few years ago, she sent me the lyrics to this song and told me to watch the video on YouTube. I cried for an hour afterwards. It really hit home and I knew then she was sorry.
